Bottom line Embracing and loving who I am and what Ive done is not a fixed state its a long work in progress.
As many of my friends know, Ive immersed myself in a 9-year life reinvention, and shifted from a miserable and chronically ill corporate professional to an author, consultant, speaker and entrepreneur who absolutely loves what she does for a living and what shes focused on, despite the enormous challenges.
Its been one heck of a ride, with pitfalls, bumps, highs and transformations, that I barely recognize myself from the individual I was 10 years ago. The core essence of me is still there, of course, but theres been so much shifting and morphing that now I see much more clearly what I truly value and need to have in my life and work and family experience. I get myself a lot more deeply than I did before.
The other day, I was talking to a new friend, Justin Krane, about some of the mistakes I made in business and in life, and he mentioned that hed be really interested in hearing my top ten mistakes in business. And that got me thinking
So Ive decided to come clean with My 52 Mistakes.
Today, Im starting a new blog/vlog project called My 52 Mistakes Project. These are the biggest mistakes Ive made in my life and work thus far. I want to share them so you wont feel alone in your mistakes, and you can learn from mine.
The goal of the My 52 Mistakes Project is to give brief look at the havoc each mistake wreaked in my life, and the breakthrough that emerged from it, so my mistakes can be of use to others.
For this project to help as many people as I hope it will, I need more than just my experiences, I need yours your stories, lessons, mistakes and breakthroughs I need it all! Weve spent a good deal of time here together building our community, and now we can help each other with our collective wisdom.
Please comment and add your input. Which of these mistakes resonates for you? What other mistakes would you add to your list? Show me your lists, and tell me your top three. (Were getting honest here people!) And please pass this along to anyone you know whos committed to learning from mistakes and experiencing breakthrough. Comment here or email me.
Lets do this together! Lets turn our messes into messages of honesty, forgiveness, and acceptance. And all along the way, know that I love you, my friends mistakes, warts and all! xo
My 52 Mistakes
As a professional
1) Letting my ego lead me around by the nose
2) Believing the myth, Build It and They Will Come
3) Letting the pendulum effect rule my life (Waiting too long to take action, then being devastated and running to the opposite extreme)
4) Spending too much money on my business before learning how to earn
5) Listening to people who claimed to be experts but who are in fact full of st
6) Putting all my eggs in the Plan A basket without having a Plan B
7) Holding back from sharing my insights, wisdom, and knowledge for fear Ill give too much away for free
8) Not listening enough to my instincts and my gut feelings about people and directions
9) Ignoring my husband when he said, This is not working!!
10) Running around thinking Im Gods gift to the world
11) Wasting time in the company of people I dont adore and respect
12) Comparing myself to others instead of figuring out exactly what I want to offer, to whom, and why
13) Staying too long in a job I hated, not realizing it will, eventually, hate me back
14) Hiding from my fears instead of getting in the cage with them
15) Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome (thanks, Einstein!)
16) Taking on a narcissistic goliath expecting to be a successful David
17) Remaining in toxic, miserable situations believing that I had good reasons to do so
18) Letting my salary define me
19) Feeling like an impostor because of my flaws and mistakes
20) Thinking that this just happened to me not realizing I co-created it
As an author/writer
21) Believing Id get rich writing a book
22) Launching my book and work into a vacuum
23) Letting my accomplishments blind me
24) Thinking my personal story was enough to generate a bestselling book
25) Mistaking myself for a writer when I wasnt writing and reading every day
26) Longing for national recognition from writing a book
27) Being overly attached to one idea, approach, or outcome that I thought was amazing (as journalists say, its time to kill the baby)
28) Keeping the truth from myself about, What do I want, and what do I really want? from my writing and my work
29) Not having had the guts to say what I mean to a whole slew of people
30) Being wholly unprepared for the transformational process of writing and launching my book
As a coach/therapist
31) Believing the hype of experts about the earning potential of coaching (sorry folks, theres very little money in it)
32) Not having sufficiently powerful boundaries to protect myself from the pain of helping people who are suffering
33) Letting people walk all over me because I felt badly for them
34) Wasting months not liking my therapy work but thinking I should (if you dont like it, youre not supposed to be doing it!)
35) Believing having my own coaching business would be an easy way out of my miserable corporate job
36) Not understanding, If you dont LOVE your clients, you dont love your work
37) Stuffing myself into another persons model for change when I wanted to create my own
38) Not healing my wounds sufficiently before being in service of others
39) Coddling my clients instead of helping them turn their mess around by themselves
40) Limiting myself to seeing only one way to make a living
As a woman
41) Wasting precious time not speaking up for myself
42) Waiting for my Prince to come and rescue me (and being really pissed off when I realized my husband wasnt the Prince)
43) Letting my mistakes devastate me
44) Being exactly the perfectionistic overfunctioner that I write about
45) Spending more time complaining about my situation than changing it
46) Worrying about polarizing people and alienating other women (it happens get over it)
47) Not accepting that having it all means Im working non-stop and so busy that my heads going to explode
48) Waiting too long to find amazing, awesome people to connect and engage with
49) Believing I didnt need or want great female role models
50) Letting my gender, generation, upbringing, traumas, cultural baggage, beliefs, fears (my whatever) keep me from accomplishing what I wanted to
As a human being on this planet today
51) Listening to my mind to the exclusion of my heart and soul
52) Not understanding until my forties that Im unique, special and powerful and can make the difference I long to make
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OK, friends, your turn! Please share your top mistakes and what youve learned from them. Email me at Kathy@elliacommunications.com. Lets get this going! (Special thanks to my dear friend Krista Carnes for getting me going!)